unbelievable

sometimes, i wonder what i did to deserve my friends.

last night, i got my taxes done and found out that i owe $500 in taxes. i was counting on that tax return a bit, though i could live without it. but owing $500? i've recently been racking up some medical bills and related expenses. went in to check for a sinus infection, went out with blood tests, ultrasounds, and some news that isn't entirely unexpected, but no less unwelcome.

change your life right now, or it will change for you and you won't have a chance to go back.

i was a little overwhelmed trying to think of where i could squeeze an extra $500 out of my turnip of a bank account. i sent a text to one of my friends as i sat in the driveway of my family's tax accountant, teary and looking for a bit of sympathy. i feel like i can't catch a break right now.

this morning, she called me, asked me if she could stop by. i said of course, despite my third-day hair and cluttered apartment.  she showed up with no makeup on, in her pajamas, with a book she'd been telling me about.  she held it while we chatted, and then she handed it to me as she left and told me to look in it five minutes after she left.

there was an envelope inside, with $500, marked brenda's break.

i am the most coordinated person on earth.

last night, i slipped getting out of the bathtub, banged up my leg royally*, sat on a burning candle, and pulled the towel rack off the wall. then i gave up on the day and went to bed at 9:00.

iiii am a rockstar.

best thing? wasn't even my bathtub. so... sorry about that towel rack, my dear sister. i will get you a new one, i promise.






*"royally," as in "very purple and looks very intimidating." it kind of looks (and feels) like the inside of my knee was run over.  so much ouch. the bruises haven't even all started showing up yet. right now they're just blueish purplish knots. i'm not one for emoticons on this blog, but... :(  ouch.

more poetry!: Tonight

real post soon, i promise! (i hope!) for now... more poetry!

Tonight

I want to lie stretched
                   beneath
the heavy moon.

I want to sip, soak until
my fingertips fold
  and I drip tarnished silver
  and leave footprints
                 that glow.