great literature: the zombie collection

i promised to post this a while back, and i kept forgetting.  i should have done it during the halloween season, but i was busy with... yanno.  halloween-type stuff.

a few years ago, i took a creative writing class.  most of the creative writing was poetry, and my professor wouldn't let us write any free verse.  everything we wrote had to be in a form.  at first, i grumbled a lot about it.  then i started to love it.

for some reason, i got this idea in my head that it would be cool to write strict form poetry with zombies as the subject matter.  it was kind of a geeky joke, writing structured poetry about something that was falling apart.  hurr hurr.  (yeah, i'm a geek.)  i only wrote eight of them that i really liked, so i am presenting them here.  don't steal them, or i will turn you into a zombie, okay?  okay.

wild card: the doom of the girlfrind

a couple of weeks ago, i came home from the library with The Devil in the White City, which is about serial killer H. H. Holmes, and In Cold Blood, which is is a true crime book about a murder. the next trip to the library yielded Mystic River, which is a novel about murder, and Stiff, which is about, well... cadavers. i was half-certain that i was going to get a knock on the door after a very concerned librarian contacted the police. but the thing is, this is not a recent development. i have always been a little morbid, fascinated with the macabre. when i was in the second grade, R.L. Stine was pretty much my idol. by the third grade, i'd graduated to the "masterpieces" of Christopher Pike. i was obsessed with vampires and ghosts and mummies (oh my!), as well as zombies, voodoo, witches, and other such subjects.

i was an aspiring author at the time (which is another thing that still hasn't changed), and so, naturally, the subject of my reading and the subject of my writing were the same. yes, i was a third-grader writing about death and zombies. and a few years ago, i found evidence of this. tucked away in a box filled with drawings and report cards and old spelling tests, there was a little gem that i had penned called "the doom of the girlfrind." and here, for your reading pleasure, is a transcription of that masterpiece.  including a stunning cover illustration.

(the tagline says "Rob is dead... or is he?"  also, please note that the tissues depicted are puffs plus. only the best for my characters.)