common side effect of wearing sunscreen every day: i look like a ghostperson. the sad thing is, i am TECHNICALLY tan. compared to my stomach (which probably hasn't seen daylight since i was like... three), my arms and chest and face are tan. it's just that my natural skin color is so lily-white that even with a slight tan i look like i should be pacing the hallways of an old victorian hotel mourning my lost love. when i was a baby, i was so brown that everyone in the hospital thought i was navajo. true story. and then during my childhood, tan skin turned to freckles and i somehow transitioned to looking like a mole-person who has never seen daylight. i feel like i should get SOME sort of color in my face before winter comes, or by march i'm going to be the same color as a frog belly.
why am i writing about this, you ask? because i am wearing red lipstick today and i bear a rather shocking resemblance to this person, only less... you know. fairest-of-them-all-ish.
(note: in my head, she's clapping like stevie wonder in this picture.)
dear sun: do you think we could cut some kind of deal? like maybe i spend some quality time with you and stop talking smack about your UV rays and you maybe promise not to cause any sun damage and turn me into splotchy mcleatherface in my golden years? let's talk.
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