does this count as booday?: my phone is possessed.

my phone has a problem.  i think that it may have the brain of an adolescent boy.  that, or it's possessed by some evil spirit that thinks it's funny to make my life difficult. 

i have the predictive text feature turned on when i text message.  sometimes this makes things a lot faster and easier.  other times, not so much.  here are just a few of the most common issues.

i type in: just

it predicts: 5878

i type in: out

it predicts: Mtv

i type in: care

it predicts: barf

i type in: happy

it predicts: gassy

yes, you read those last two right.  which means that if i want to create a kind message that says "i care that you are happy," i end up with this:

and if i enter the name of my sister jen, i have to cycle through ken, leo, and len before arriving to it.  how often do i say barf vs. how often i say jen?  pretty heavily weighted toward the jen side, i promise.

the other day, my friend told me that he wanted to hang out with my phone because he thought they would get along really well.  he said they'd already friended each other on facebook.  i wouldn't be surprised if my phone really did have a facebook account i didn't know about.  it's probably not safe for children.

and if i ever send you a message that says that i really barf that you're gassy, please remember that that's probably not what i mean to say.

unless it is.